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I'm in a deep depression and my anxiety just keeps getting worst. Lately I've been wanting to cut like everyday. I feel as if I know what triggered it but I haven't spoken to anyone because I can't tell them. My best friends godfather touched me sexually and I don't know what to do. I can't tell her because I'll ruin our friendship. I can't tell my counselor because she would have to report it. That's the last thing I need right now because I have a case open already due to the fact that my dad raped me. I was also sexually abused as a child by mothers ex boyfriend. I feel like a toy to men. I feel worthless I just want it to all be over. I'm just tired of suffering.
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You are worthy of being taken care of, being loved, and safe. Many people think about cutting as a way to release their pain or wanting to feel something because they are numb. Either way there are safer ways to express your pain. From what you have written you are in emotional pain due to the experiences you have had and are currently enduring. You need to tell your best friend who will understand that you that this man was hurting you. It is not acceptable that your best friends godfather is touching you sexually or in any unwanted manner. You really need to ask an adult (mother or guardian, aunt, counselor, etc.) for help because what he is doing is unlawful and you must be protected. Please know that if you are younger than 18 years old you are protected by Child Abuse laws and they can help you at (877) 652-2873. I know you are familiar with these laws if you have an open case. You are not a toy and these men are committing a crime. You deserve to be safe and care for! If you want to talk more call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 at 888-222-2228 or text us daily at 908-280-0235. Please tell someone! We are here for you so call us.
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