pain

[Unregistered]

Please please try to understand me! No one does. I just started highschool, and I am facing emotional problems. I feel just in pain, its just overwhelming. I feel like its unbearable and the things that made me happy, just left me. Like today, I broke5 pencils and broke down crying and shaking and I wanted something to take over my pain. at the same time, i feel embarrased all the time and i feel nervous and shaky and my stomach hurts. The worst thing is, i cant tell anybody because i know they will think that it happens and its common, and they wont focus on the part to help me deal with it. Trauma from childhood bullying, social issues, family problems and family stigmas and expectation, wont leave me alone. I lost my appetite. And what makes me hate things more is that I dont have a family that I can trust. .. and I dont want them to know that there little girl is broken because that would break them...and as worthless as I am, I dont want to be the one that lets them down. Anyways, I know that I wont become who I want... I hate my life, and every time someone laughs, I know that theyre laughing at me. I have no friends, and I joined many things, but for some reason, ppl dont like me... and my teacher said that theres nothing wrong with me, then why do ppl make fun of me??! After I let it all out, I started to feel physically bad and like I dont care. I know I need to talk to a proffesional, but I cant... because of the stigmas and I will feel awkward around my family once they know... they dont understand. If I cry at school and always stressed out... do u think a teacher will call my parent? I dont want them to.......... </3

[2NDFLOOR]

First I need to tell you that if you are thinking of harming yourself you need to contact 911 right away or contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline @ 1 (800) 273-8255 so help can get to you immediately, they also have a link to get information @ http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
I am so sorry that you are having a hard time right now, but understand that you are not alone and there are people who want to help! It is not good that you are feeling so hopeless right now so it is important to reach out for professional help. There is no shame in getting help when you need it, in fact it shows that you are a strong person that you can reach out for help when you need it.
If you don’t think that your parents are open to you getting help then go to your school guidance counselor they can get you the help that you need. They can also serve as an objective party that will contact your parents for you and try to explain where you are coming from. I know it can be hard to talk openly about personal feelings to a stranger but at this point it is what you need. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional now! It may seem like its overwhelming at this moment, but with some help and counseling you can learn ways to cope with these negative thoughts. If you need help finding ways to talk to people about how you are feeling we can help you too. Please do not hesitate to call 2NDFLOOR we are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228 or text us daily 4-8PM at 908-280-0235.

[Unregistered]

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What if things dont work out or they overreact?

[2NDFLOOR]

You have to take things step by step and realize that you are a priority!! You really don't know what will happen, there is always a possibility they can overreact or they may be open to it! However, regardless of their reactions it is important that you get help for yourself so reach out to your counselor for help when you return to school so he/she can get you on the right road to feeling better. You deserve to be happy and feel better. If you need to talk further, please do not hesitate to call 2NDFLOOR we are here 24/7 @ 888-222-2228 or text us daily 4-8 PM at 908-280-0235. You are not alone!