Run Away

[Unregistered]

Hi. things for me have been going downhill for me at home latelt. my older brother is a neurotic, psycopathic, pain in my a**. other than just being annoying, he is abusive. he uses the words " b****, fat a**, c***, worthless, fag, retard, loser, etc." freely with me. he throws things like batteries and remote controls at me for fun. then he denys that he ever did such things. i have tried year after year asking my parents for help to only get the response, "ignore him" i wish things could be so simple. my parents know what is going on, they say they cant do anything because my brother is too big and crazy. then, since we are "well off", they take me to a concert every so often to make up for it. but the saying "money cant buy happiness" is true.
then, my parents are always fighting. on a daily they are getting into heated arguments. they use me as a pawn in many arguments. they take their anger out on me too. they will yell at me and call me names for something as stupid as taking my laundry out of the machine. i do my own laundry. the machine doesnt have a timer so i forget my things are in there. at 14 though, doing my own laundry should be enough. anyway, they fight constantly. my sister and i always hang out and i feel safe with her around but she went away for the weekend. ill be going to my cousins this weekend gladly. but still, i want to get out of here. my sister is gonna be leaving for college soon. i want to run away so bad. i keep telling myself that the second i get my license, i am going to live out of my car and stay away from home as much as posible. but that is a long time away. what do i do? i think about killing myself sometimes but i would never do that. i just think about it though. it scares me. these thoughts of running away and suicide scare me so much. i have to get out of here soon...

[2NDFLOOR]

Let me first say that if you feel suicidal again please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline @ 800-273-8255 or 2NDFLOOR @ 888-222-2228, or reach out to a trusted friend so that you are not alone at that time. So, it sounds like there are a lot of things going on in your home that you are struggling with. I understand that it can be hard to live with people (family or not) and cope with their moods as well as your own. It"s okay to feel stressed out about those type of things in your home, you're not alone in that. Now, you will never be able to change anyone else's behavior, like your parents or brother, but you can remove yourself from the situation. If you feel like things are getting too chaotic then reach out to a friend or a relative that you trust and go to their house for a little. Also, try journaling your thoughts so you can reflect on your feelings. As an outlet, try to exercise to relieve stress (its does work) or listen to relaxing music. Lastly, maybe it would help to write your parents a letter and explain how you feel about everything, maybe they truly don't understand the seriousness of what is going on with you. I hope this helps and you can call 2NDFLOOR anytime to talk @ 888-222-2228.

[Unregistered]

I know how you feel I've gone through the same sh*t you have and much more self harm bulimia suicide attempts drug abuse alcohol abuse been to 4 rehabs 4 hospitalizations depression anxiety anger issues bipolar you name it i have it or done it, it makes us stronger in the end and your obviously strong enough to reach out for help 3 1/2 more years until your 18 and you can then chooice where you need to be we love you xoxo��❤