losing friends concerningly fast

[Guest]

i've lost two friends in the span of a week, in addition with my girlfriend being sent to a hospital for two months with no access to her phone. i know the one friend from the friend group im talking to still has decided to stay neutral, but im scared he'll take their side and end things with me as well, or even worse, he'll take my side and lose 8 whole years of friendship with those two friends. no petty argument is worth that.

i did bad things to them, i admit that, and i apologized for said bad things, but they did bad things to me as well, some of which they've never apologized for. in my opinion, in their magnum opus of bad things theyve done to me, they blew up a minecraft realm i worked really hard on with them and other friends for months. (one of them just removed their own creations, which is fine, but i suspect the other blew up my creations as well.)

i know i should be grateful all of the stress i had surrounding them is finally over, but right now, im just tired. i just want a stable friend group that i actually want to be with, goddamnit. why cant i have that for once?

but anyways, long rant over. what do i do to try getting over them?

- mercury, xe/they/he

[2NDFLOOR]

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with all these relationships. Friendships are difficult things as you have no control over how other people behave and act. Some friends will last, others will not, some may be in and out. If you're lucky you'll develop a few close friendships in your life that are meaningful and important. It's sounds like the people in your friend group weren't treating you nicely so maybe this could be a positive in disguise. Continue to develop your other friendships and hopefully they will be nicer to you. Maybe even reach out to new people and develop some totally new friendships, you never know who might become a close friend. Call or text us anytime at 888-222-2228.

[Guest]

Friendships shouldn't be based on "picking a side." It doesn't sound like these friends are the types of friends you would want long-term anyway. Might be worth trying to find some new friends that you know you'll always be able to depend on!

[Guest]

Hi there, Mercury. Thank you so much for reaching out for help. It is not always easy to do that! You are completely valid in whatever you are feeling about this situation. It is very difficult to navigate losing people you once had as friends. If your goal is to get over them, I think it is important to remember that people you consider to be friends would treat you with respect, value, and forgiveness; if these people were not treating you the way you would like to be treated, they are not worth keeping in your life anyway.

Secondly, unfortunately, you cannot control the way everyone behaves. What you can control is how you respond to others’ behavior. If they are not treating you nicely, try and remind yourself that people like that are not worth having as friends. Additionally, remind yourself that their behavior is not a reflection of anything wrong with you; their behavior has everything to do with themselves. All you can do is stay true to yourself, keep doing what you like to do, and be kind. When you do this, you will attract people who are similar to you and who treat you with more respect and kindness.

If you need any further guidance or support, you can call or text the helpline anytime at 888-222-2228.