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What really hurts is when I feel like people have chosen to dorm with others and didn't think about asking me join :*( even when I have told them that I was looking for a roomate. We do have a connections and they are fond of me, so it's not like we don't know each others. But it really hurts that when I asked them, they said they already have plans and didn't consider me despite knowing. Like typically if you percieve someone is important to you, don't you include them? I wasn't, and I feel chosen over all the time, by people who have expressed fondness of me. I feel so worthless and sometimes I wish I can disappear so I wouldn't have to feel like this all the time.
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Yes, it really can hurt to feel like people you consider friends don't necessarily consider you when making plans and that can make you feel excluded and even question the friendships you are in. Maybe something that would be helpful would be to work on being assertive. Like for example, instead of saying you are looking for a roommate, directly ask a person if they want to room with you and you can apply this example to other things in life. Sometimes, depending on how close you are to the person, you can even bring up to them that what they did was hurtful to you and ask why they didn't consider you. It is possible that they didn't pick up on the vibes you were throwing out there and that they didn't know they were hurting you with their actions. In any case, if you would like to discuss this further please text us at 888-222-2228. -
"it really hurt me because Everytime I try to hangout, you say you're busy, which I don't doubt, but it's hard strengthen a friendship you're constantly unavailable" to me.
"I asked you last yr and you already had plans. I was really hoping to have been included as part of your plan given our connection"
I was just trying to brainstorm things I can say ahead of time.
In addition, many ppl say oh they already made plans ahead of you and it's a time and distance kinda thing, and once someone promises someone else dorming it'd be too awkward to change plans, idk... I've heard both sides; to give ppl benefit of the doubt or not. But it's tooooo dissonant.Comment
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Anyone??????Comment
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Those are some good examples. It also is possible that they did make plans to perhaps secure their arrangements early on and if that is the case then there is very little you can do. However the good thing is most people entering dorm life are looking to make new life long friends. Perhaps by not having a set plan you are setting yourself up to make a new really great friend. It is good to have friends you know going in but also try to keep yourself open to the idea of meeting new people and making new friends. Friends who may choose you first in other endeavors. If you would like to talk about this or anything else further please reach out to 2NDFLOOR anytime 24/7 via text or call at 1(888) 222-2228.Comment
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Hi! It definitely does hurt when friends don't consider you in planning. I've even been through that when I was trying to find a roommate for college. I know it is more comfortable moving in somewhere with friends but don't be afraid to meet new people. Having the university pair a roommate with you was a great decision I made and I made a friend for life. This is a great way to meet a new friend that you will be sharing your new experiences with.Comment
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