My Guy Friend Problem

[Guest]

There is this guy who has been helping me through some things that have been happening and I've liked him for 2 years now and I've told him twice and got 2 different answers. He believes in me and talking to him makes me feel safe and back when we were in school being near him made me feel safe, like a protector, He's an amazing guy, I'd be fine if we were friends with benefits I just want him in my life romanticaly or sexualy. He is the most caring,funny,talented,sexy, loving guy I know, he stays up with me when I hurt myself and tells me he believes in me, He's offered to beat people up that were mean to me, I just want him in my life and I don't know how to get him.

[2NDFLOOR]

I am glad you reached out to 2ndfloor for support. I understand that you would like to have a relationship with this guy but remember he has to want to the same thing too. Right now it might be a difficult time to build a relationship during a pandemic but just keep in contact with him and you never know. There is no magic potion to make someone like you but friends with benefits sounds a little dangerous. It does sound like you have a great friendship and that you both care and support each other. Just go with that for right now and see where it takes you. If you are self harming though please check out these websites for support and coping skills. www.selfinjury.com and www.selfharm.net. Good luck and please reach out anytime, We are here 24/7 for message board posts, texts or calls. Our number is 888-222-2228.

[Guest]

It is so great that you have someone in your life who sounds so supportive. Having someone who makes you feel safe and protected, who cares about you, and who believes in you is an incredible person to have in your corner, and it is so understandable that you would want to secure his position in your life. The question is about how to appropriately and successfully do this. Although it sounds like a fun and exciting way to do this, unfortunately, sexualizing a relationship often can often lead to its breakdown. Adding romance into a pre-existing relationship can often complicate it, and should never really be done aggressively in a way that drastically changes the relationship, in case it might be lost forever. Building slowly on a solid foundation is often the safest way to go. It sounds like this guy is not someone to let go of so fast, and so you might want to think about strengthening the foundation of your relationship before you rush into adding some "benefits".

[Guest]

Hi! I think it is amazing that you have such a kind and supportive person in your life. This is such a rare commodity in the world and I'm glad you found a person you can be yourself with and that makes you feel safe. I think you should strengthen your friendship with this person because friends with benefits can get messy. If this friendship develops into a relationship thats great and if not, you still have an amazing friend by your side.