Super long and complicated if you want to help

[Unregistered]

So at the beginning of the year my two friends (boy and girl) started texting. It was fine and they began to become really close. Around the beginning of December he told her that he had a crush on her. She didn't have those feelings for him. She begged me and our other close circle of girls to tell her good things about him so that she would like him. I told her I wouldn't support that because it wouldn't be fair to him when she broke up with him for not having the same feelings. She didn't care, but I guess the other girls convinced her because suddenly he was the most important person in the world to her. When it was New Years he wanted to be the first one to hug her, and he told all of my friends and I who were having a sleepover with her that he wouldn't be our friend if we hugged her. So that night the clock struck 12 and I hugged her (and so did all the other girls). She didn't move or hug me back but I did get a nasty stare when I took a step back. I guess that this was something really important to her because that same night he texted me telling me how he had lost all respect for me. We fought for a while and it was hard for me because my best friend was crushing on a boy who HATED me. A few days after New Years we were sitting in lunch and she wasn't eating her roll, (side note: people think she's anorexic because sometimes she skips lunch which I think is an overreaction) and since I hadn't had any lunch for the day I took it from her when she offered it. When I had her over at my house for a sleepover she told me to text him and try to work things out. (Little did I know she was texting him as I was too, just to make sure he didn't say anything mean to me.) She said to me that if we didn't work this out by the start of next school year she would hit us both. I told him this. And he told me to stop lying to him, when I told him to ask her, she denied it. She always denied it, but in the end he and I made up. After we came back from our winter break, he asked her to the movies. She was terrified he would make a move, and asked me to come. I told her it would be awkward for me to "third-wheel" and she told me to bring a friend. I asked one of my close guy friends, and he thought I was asking him on a double date so he said no. I asked the other boy to explain to his friend that it wasn't a date, but he thought I was just trying to "mask my feelings." So I texted my friend and she still begged me to come. The morning of my mom offered to drive us and my friend reminded me to make sure he was ok with it. He wasn't. He completely lost it on me. He told me I was too obsessed in their relationship and that if I was going he wasn't. So when I told him to ask her because she asked me to come anyway. He sent me a picture of their messages where she denied having ever said that and I was officially uninvited. For weeks I was mad at her, (everybody thought I was overreacting but they didn't get it because it hadn't happened to them) but I had to "play nice" for a sleepover that we were both invited to. That Friday I asked her to come to my house before we had to go over to our friends house. She said no, but I continued to ask. Eventually I gave in, and I as I reached in for a hug, she cried out for her "boyfriend" to come to her rescue. He came over, and hit me, and she ran off to her bus. I screamed at him for not letting her fight her own battles. When she asked me if I was still mad, I said yes, but refused to tell her why because I couldn't really figure it out myself. Time and time again over the month of March he has texted me about bullying her and harming her. He told me I used to be a great girl, but my personality has gotten out of hand, I've become a bully, and that all my friends knew it. I asked who thought that assuming the worst, but he refused to tell me because it would be betraying the other girls' trust. One night we got in a huge text argument, and we made a promise to leave each other alone, (including his "girlfriend") but one week later he texted me "thanks for ruining my life also". Then came my birthday. That night at midnight she texted me "I know you'll probably ignore this but happy birthday." And I finally told her why I was so mad. She said that it was a fight between me and him, and I let a boy between us, when really it was her who had let him between us. On my birthday I had a bunch of girls over, and as the day went on, all but one of my friends had left. (This girl had been my closest friend since we were really little, and we tell each other everything.) When she asked me about this I didn't know where to begin, so she called up this boy, and told me to sit quietly and listen, so I did. I sat there for what seemed like an eternity while he told my best friend how I'm a fake and a bully, and he doesn't understand why anybody wants to be my friend. He told the story of me asking her over to my house like this: I was harassing her, and physically harming her, when she finally called for him, and after he pulled me off of her, she ran to her bus terrified of me, and I slapped him across the face. (When his twin sister (my friend) heard him saying these things about me, she went into his room, and screamed at him. But she got kicked out.) I also learned that she had sent pictures of our texts where it does seem like I am bullying her, but only because they are out of context. He told my friend that he would send them to the whole school if I talked to one of them again. Also I found out that he knew she wasn't interested as much. He ruined my birthday. I cried while they were on the phone and that night, and my __th birthday was ruined and could never be gotten back. What I don't understand is why he will say terrible things about me to protect this girl who he knows isn't interested in him, but she ditched my friends and me for a movie with him where they hooked up, and everybody made a big deal about it in school. They don't have titles. They aren't a thing, nobody knows what they are. It's gotten to the point where everything I do is connected to them again.

[2NDFLOOR]

It sounds like you have gone through a lot with this guy and this girl. As frustrating as it can be to see two people that shouldn't be together it's time to take as far a step back as you possibly can. It seems that anytime you get involved even to try and fix your friendship with this girl they attack you. I wouldn't consider you the bully in this situation. I would considered her the bully. As difficult as it might be, these are two people that are bringing lots of negativity to your life. The reality of the situation is that their relationship will probably end, due to the fact that your friend doesn't like the boy as much as he likes her. Until that I wouldn't reach out to either of them. If she reaches out to you you can say that this situation has gotten out of control and you just need some space or if you aren't going to be honest to this guy about our friendship then I also need space. Surround yourself with people that care about you and know the real you. No one should cry on their birthday or hear such cruel things said about themselves. This post shows that you have a big heart and truly care about your friends. I hope this helped in some way. If you want to talk more give 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline a call at 888-222-2228 or text us Fridays 4-8PM at 908-280-0235

[Unregistered]

...

I decided to not listen and go with my gut feeling, and now she and I are friends again!!! But I will not be forgiving him for a while

[2NDFLOOR]

I'm glad that things worked out! If you would like to talk more call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline anytime at 888-222-2228 or text us Fridays 4-8PM at 908-280-0235.