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I'm 14 and my parents always say they support me but every time i try to do sports or anything they put everything i own on the line. today, my parents found out about my grades, as i said i was struggling in the last marking period of the school year. they went to check my grades and found out i have two d's but the rest of my grades are a's and b's. when i came home, my father cornered me saying how it's all my fault and if my grades don't go up in the next week i will never get into college, i won't be allowed to transfer to a public school, and all my activities are on the line. he told me that i won't be allowed to play my rugby season, and my trips for other sports will be cancelled, as well as any class activites for school, like field trips and the formal. i told him i was trying but it's difficult and his response was that i need to stop walking around like i own the place and my excuses are unacceptable, and kept walking until he cornered me and i flinched like he was about to hit me, and he just looked at me and was yelling that he was crystal clear. my mother turns a blind eye to all of this, and when she confronts me about my grades, she yells at me about giving up and how i don't care about anyone but myself. this only makes my current problems worse, because in the store the other day she said my clothes make me look like a streetworker infront of everyone, but the only clothes i was wearing were long sleeved hoodies that are overly large. she said if i go to the school dance, the dress i'm wearing makes me look like a slut, even though she is the one that picked it out. it has been like this for weeks, and i can't find anyone to talk to about it. every time i tell my friends, they just complain about how they "wish they had my life" and how their parents are twice as bad. my grades have been dropping solely because of my parents, and i want to go to a therapist but they just tell me none of my problems are important enough.
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hi there, thanks for reaching out to 2ndfloor to talk about this. if you're ever feeling unsafe in your home, please know you can call the department of children protection and permanency 1-877-NJ ABUSE (652-2873). they can help link you and your family to therapeutic resources and whatever else they deem appropriate to help your family strive and do better in the home. have you talked to anyone at school (like the teacher or guidance counselor) about your struggles with grades? maybe talking to another trusted adult other than your parents would help you feel less isolated about all of this. you can call and speak with a support counselor 24/7 at 2ndfloor too if you want to talk about this, or anything else, more in depth 888-222-2228. -
hi there, thanks for reaching out to 2ndfloor to talk about this. if you're ever feeling unsafe in your home, please know you can call the department of children protection and permanency 1-877-NJ ABUSE (652-2873). they can help link you and your family to therapeutic resources and whatever else they deem appropriate to help your family strive and do better in the home. have you talked to anyone at school (like the teacher or guidance counselor) about your struggles with grades? maybe talking to another trusted adult other than your parents would help you feel less isolated about all of this. you can call and speak with a support counselor 24/7 at 2ndfloor too if you want to talk about this, or anything else, more in depth 888-222-2228.Comment
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My Mom is always yelling at me and she always oversteps my boundaries. I'm 15 and I have my first ever boyfriend and I'm really happy and excited. My mom loves to make little jokes about it, the jokes always make me uncomfortable. I tell her not to share any details about my relationship with other people, then I find out that she texts one of her friends about everything me and my boyfriend do and the I see she sent pictures of us to her friend. Also, my mom sometimes tells me to shut the hell up and one time she called me a f**king b*tch. After we fight she wants to make up and pretend that nothing ever happened. The only thing my parents can do together is gang up on me. My mom takes all of her frustration out on me. Sometimes she makes me feel like I'm worthless and I have no propose. One day I tried to talk to my therapist about what was going on, but my mom yelled at me saying No on should know what was going on. She is always yelling, it gets really loud sometimes.Comment
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hi, thanks for reaching out to 2ndfloor. sometimes it can be really hard to draw boundaries with parents. it sounds like maybe it could help if you thought about what needs to be shared with mom vs what doesn't, especially since knowing that she is unable or unwilling to respect your wishes about what she shares about your life with others. since we cannot control what she does, that might mean we need to be more careful about what is shared with her, so that you're not feeling like she is oversharing more than you would like with others. also, what is talked about with your therapist should stay between you two in order to avoid others (like your mom) from feeling like they have a say in how you feel or what you talk about in therapy. therapy is for you, and not her. if you are feeling like the yelling or verbal abuse of her calling you names is becoming overwhelming, please let your therapist or another safe adult know. you can always contact the department of children protection and permanency 1-877-NJ ABUSE (652-2873) as well. if you need to talk more about this or anything else, you can call or text with a support counselor at 2ndfloor 888 222 2228 at anytime.Comment
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