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I don't know what to do anymore honestly. I'm so sick and tired of my mom telling me I'm not enough. My whole life I've always had bad grades and now this year I have all A's and B's she is not proud at all saying I could do better than that. All I do is try to make her proud and that's all I do, I don't do things for myself anymore because I am so focused for my mom to be proud but not even that she sees. She favors my brother over me. She absolutely loves my brother and sometimes I wish I get as much treatment as he does because honestly it hurts to see all of her love going to him leaving none for me. Her and my brother have something against me my dad on the other hand is neutral. About a month ago my parents broke my phone because I didn't give them my password for it, it was not right and yet they did it. I didn't have anything to hide but I don't like my mom going through every text message I have with anyone because I'm 16 and I need my own privacy. I don't tell her my personal issues because I've tried before and used it against me. So she just bought me a phone or I paying for it because I have a job and I'm basically going to give her my paychecks for her to have to pay off the phone. But since I have a new phone for work now I need it but she and my brother are just saying that I never deserve a phone and that I basically deserve nothing they give me. It hurts me so so so much but I just keep my head down and stay quite. I just want to feel happy again but I can't I feel like even that is to selfish and I don't even deserve to have. OH! and what pisses me off the most is that I have a therapist for me and my mom talks to her about everything from her point of view and how she sees my life and never giving me a chance to ever speak up. She is so controlling and I can't keep up anymore. I also don't trust my mom with any information of mine because instead of making matters better she makes them worse by telling every single Facebook mom my personal issues and the whole world need to know I am taking medication to deal with her bullshit.
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It can be difficult when we do not have the relationship we want with our parents. It is normal to want them to feel proud of us, however many times they disappoint us and do not give us that connection. It can also be very difficult to find love and respect for ourselves when those in our family do not support us. You mentioned having a therapist. The sessions between you and your therapist are meant to be confidential and private between you and them. At 16 you have the right to request that your mother not be present for these sessions and that is protected by law in NJ. I encourage you to look up more information about the Keystone Law which affords anyone over the age of 16 in New Jersey to control their own mental health care. This is a link with more information - https://www.nj.gov/dcf/families/Keystone-Law-FAQ.pdf
If you would like to talk about these issues more, please reach out to 2ndFloor at 888-222-2228. Counselors are available 24/7 by both text and phone to talk with you.
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