Please someone help me :(

[Guest]

Growing up I've always had issues with my mom and she never took my emotions seriously even if I said I was going to kill myself, she'll say do it. Yesterday my mom is mad at me for having a boy over but it wasn't because I wanted to have sex with him I just wanted someone to talk to. Because no one wants to hangout with me, and now she thinks i am a slut because of that's what she called me, she went through my phone and basically started humiliating me. she doesn't acknowledge me and i know i've been messing up for a long time but this wasn't intentional. I just really wanted someone to talk to just to have a form of company. I know I crossed her boundaries but i am sorry and i didn't do it to spite her. but she thinks i did, she is giving me the silent treatment as usual and just won't talk to me because she wants to "f me up". I know i've always been a burden for her and I'm going to leave soon but I'm trying my best to be the child she wants, I know I was selfish for just thinking about my wants but no pays attention to me in this house even when i hurt myself. I'm always shut out I am a high honors student, I have many talents and traits but i don't know I feel lost. I have 2 more years and I don't know what I am possibly going to do. i'm just done, i don't have any purpose I just cause annoyance to everyone around me. she can't accept the fact that I have mental health problems, she can't accept the things I like or want to be in life. I messed up and had sex but I didn't know what I was doing. I just want help.

[2NDFLOOR]

Glad you reached out to us, sorry you are going through such a tough time with your mom, that can’t be easy. Is there anyone in your home that you can talk to about this dynamics with your mom, that might be able to help mediate? If you ever feel unsafe you can call , DCP&P (The Department of Child Protection and Permanency) hotline at 877- 652-2873 for help, they are there 24/7. I know you mentioned that you don’t think your mom cares about your feelings, but do you think writing her a note explaining how you feel would be beneficial? If you are not comfortable with this then don’t do it but sometimes nonverbally communication can help. Again, Is there anyone else in your life that you trust to share what is going on and if so, would you be comfortable asking them for help? Trusted adult? Aunt? Uncle? Older sibling? I know this can't be easy but hang in there and if you would like to talk about this further or anything else, please reach out to 2NDFLOOR anytime at 888-222-2228 by calling or texting. You are not alone!