I see my dad as ugly?

[Guest]

Quick things abt me: im 18, female, and I swear to god Im very openminded, I see beyond outer beauty and nonjudgemental (I am stating that because it contradicts the perception om abt to show u). I have a TERRIBLE relationship with my dad, not necessarily that we fight, but its all superficial kindness to "get along with it". I lost my trust with him since being a little child, and i suffered and still suffer the effects of child emotional neglextion. My male teacher reached out to me this yr whilr he noticed I was fallinh through the cracks of depression. Something that although my dad has tried in the past, he ended up dismissinh it and humiliating me. So i developed this UNHEALTHY SERIOUS attachment to my teacher where im both crushinh on him and at the same time see him as FATHER because of the emotional nurture and understanding he's given me that I was DEPRIVED OFF. I just love him... the thing with me is that Im feel very deeply and communicate through vibes and facial expressions. With my teacher, I love his voice, his expressions, the little details, his tall skinny figure...
then I compare him to my dad... and I started criticizing my dad heavily based on his appearance. Is this an unconcious thing? He's fat ugly and creepy. I feel uncomfortable being arouns him that I see him this way and knowing he's my dad. Its like Im disgusted my him. AND I WAS NEVER TO BE THE ONE TO CRITISIZE SOMEONE'S PHYSICAL APPEARANCE LIKE THAT, but like I said, facial expressions are important to me, and my dad's has always made me feel unsafe while my teacher makes me feel safe plus he's handsome. Whats happening....

[2NDFLOOR]

Feelings are not something we can really control. So the fact that you feel your father is disgusting or creepy is not really something you have the ability to control. As humans we do have to ability to moderate how we speak or express our feelings though and if you feel strange about feeling this way about your father, you don't necessarily have to express it to him. As far as feeling he's creepy, maybe that has to do with your history with him and the issues you faced with him growing up. Comparing him to another male figure in your life probably isn't abnormal either as a lot of times we compare our family/loved ones to other people we meet in life. Overall, try not to beat yourself up over these feelings and maybe even do some soul searching (or therapy) to see if you can find the reason for them and possibly even work on fixing it if you feel it's not right. Call or text us anytime at 888-222-2228.

[Guest]

Ok but the feeling is BEYOND intense. I get the fighy or flight if i see him for one second. I feel nauseous and weak. How do I regulate them? How can I be help3d?

[2NDFLOOR]

If you feel like you need help above and beyond what you're capable of doing on your own, maybe you need some type of mental health therapy to come to terms with these things you're feeling about your father. Regulating feelings is not an easy thing so if you are having a hard time doing it by yourself, maybe you need outside help to do it. Call or text us anytime at 888-222-2228.