Quick things abt me: im 18, female, and I swear to god Im very openminded, I see beyond outer beauty and nonjudgemental (I am stating that because it contradicts the perception om abt to show u). I have a TERRIBLE relationship with my dad, not necessarily that we fight, but its all superficial kindness to "get along with it". I lost my trust with him since being a little child, and i suffered and still suffer the effects of child emotional neglextion. My male teacher reached out to me this yr whilr he noticed I was fallinh through the cracks of depression. Something that although my dad has tried in the past, he ended up dismissinh it and humiliating me. So i developed this UNHEALTHY SERIOUS attachment to my teacher where im both crushinh on him and at the same time see him as FATHER because of the emotional nurture and understanding he's given me that I was DEPRIVED OFF. I just love him... the thing with me is that Im feel very deeply and communicate through vibes and facial expressions. With my teacher, I love his voice, his expressions, the little details, his tall skinny figure...
then I compare him to my dad... and I started criticizing my dad heavily based on his appearance. Is this an unconcious thing? He's fat ugly and creepy. I feel uncomfortable being arouns him that I see him this way and knowing he's my dad. Its like Im disgusted my him. AND I WAS NEVER TO BE THE ONE TO CRITISIZE SOMEONE'S PHYSICAL APPEARANCE LIKE THAT, but like I said, facial expressions are important to me, and my dad's has always made me feel unsafe while my teacher makes me feel safe plus he's handsome. Whats happening....
then I compare him to my dad... and I started criticizing my dad heavily based on his appearance. Is this an unconcious thing? He's fat ugly and creepy. I feel uncomfortable being arouns him that I see him this way and knowing he's my dad. Its like Im disgusted my him. AND I WAS NEVER TO BE THE ONE TO CRITISIZE SOMEONE'S PHYSICAL APPEARANCE LIKE THAT, but like I said, facial expressions are important to me, and my dad's has always made me feel unsafe while my teacher makes me feel safe plus he's handsome. Whats happening....
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