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So... oh my god, I don't even know how to start this. Okay, so, recently I started having oddly vivid memories of my cousin physically harming me when we were young. The thing is, I have never had these memories prior to like... two weeks ago. I remember hating being around my cousin because we argued all the time, but until a few weeks ago, I never had memories of her physically hurting me. I was talking to my friend about this and they said that it could be that I don't remember because those memories were just repressed trauma. The thing is, I remember in psychology that we learned about false memories. Your brain is very susceptible to the power of suggestion. I'm wondering if my mind just created false memories of abuse, because I've been in therapy and a lot of people there talk about abuse. But like, there are arguments to both sides. My cousin grew up watching her older brother (also my cousin) get abused by their father (this has been sorted out by now BTW) and was always naturally violent herself (I would watch her try to beat up both of her brothers), and of course there was the point of me never wanting to be around her as a kid. But on the other side, I've been near a lot of people that could be influencing my thoughts. Not to mention, I'm naturally untrusting of my family since I have issues with abandonment, so of course my brain would make up something just to push them further away. I don't know what to do and I really don't wanna talk to my therapist about this because I know she'll drag my mother into this, and that will NOT be a good experience. Please, I just... I have no clue but I feel like I'm going crazy for it. I just want to know that it's me being delusional.
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I am glad that you reached out to 2NDFLOOR. I am also glad that you are have a therapist for support. I am unable to say whether your cousin actually physically harmed you or not. It could be repressed memories but only you can figure that out. I am not sure why you therapist has to tell your mother about this. Especially if it is something you're not sure of. Maybe you can speak to your therapist and let her know that you want to discuss something and you do not want your mother brought into it. Also, if you are 18 or older, your mother doesn't have to be told anything. So I do think it is important to bring this up to your therapist, she knows you and can help you figure out what is really going on. If you have any additional questions or concerns please reach out anytime by message board, text or phone. Our number is 888-222-2228 and we are available 24/7. Good luck,
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