Parents fighting

[Guest]

I've never said anything about this to anyone before, but I'd think I could be able to speak under anonymity. My parents have been fighting with each other ever since I was four. There are times where it got violent, like the time my dad threw a glass bowl of sauce right at my mother and a time my mother grabbed a knife. I've also seen my father as the bad guy in the relationship due to him always talking about "why is the house always a mess?" or "why are the kids' grades so bad?" I have a little brother btw, and how he always compared my mother to other married women. Ever since I've started to understand the full depth of what is happening in their arguments, my father started to come home less and less often. When he did come home, there would always be a big fight even though both of my parents said they just want to talk. I'm starting to question wether my mother is a good mother. She's starting to seem manipulative to my father but I'm not sure. They divorced two years ago but my dad still visits as we get our child support from him. Now all they fight about is money this, money that. I'm always in the middle of it and I'm worried about my brother. He's only 10 right now. As of now I am 14 and a freshman in highschool. I've been starting to join the fights but I always just end up crying uselessly. There are days where I want to run away or harm myself, but thank goodness I don't have the guts. I don't even know what to say anymore I'm just pouring what's in my mind. ..thanks for reading this I guess

[2NDFLOOR]

I am sorry you are going through this right now. I encourage you and your brother to talk to your guidance counselors at school, let him or her know what is going on so that you have an outlet. Also, they can recommend family counseling or just for you both to have counseling alone and they will tell that to your parents. It is not your responsibility to solve their issues or disputes so try to remove yourself or walk away when they start, it is not your battle or fair for you to be put in middle. You have the power and right to tell them that and walk away next time! I am happy to hear that you have not harmed yourself because that is an unhealthy way to cope. If you find yourself feeling that way next time, listen to music, watch a funny movie, go for a run or walk, or journal your thought...you can write it down and keep it or rip it up, but it will get your emotions out. You can also join an activity that you love at school it could get you out of the house and involved with fun things. I am glad that you reached out to us here, we are here anytime 24/7, you can call or text at 888-222-2228 so please don't hesitate. Keep your head up!!