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  • My depression

    Hello umm well this is my first time writing to the second floor and I heard a lot of good things about this so I decided to try it out. So here I go... Hello I'm a 14 year old girl with depression. This all started when I started to get bullied in 7th grade. It was nothing new to me because I've been bullied all my life. But... This time it was bad. I've been punched, called out, embarrassed, etc. I've never told anyone that this was happening because I thought nothing will happen. I was very wrong. Over the years it got worse and worse. I've attempted to commit suicide but always backed out because of my little brother. Probably the only reason Im not... Well... Gone. But anyway in 8th grade my family found out that I've been bullied for about two years. I didn't tell them I was forced to. Plus I came home with a bloody nose and a bruised lip so they knew something was going on. They tried to help by getting me a therapist. At first I thought I was going to hate it. But the more and more I saw her. I felt... Idk safe around her. I felt like finally someone understands me. I found my happy place. But after a few months that all disappeared. My mom decided to tell my therapist that I didn't need her anymore. So after a few weeks she finally closed my case. My mom told me it was for my own good. But... Three days later I went back to how I used to be... depressed. The last thing my therapist told me is to rely on my mom and dad. But I can't. Their no help. All they do is insult me and tell me how worthless I am. Well that's what my mom says. My dad just loves telling me that I will not achieve anything in life. The only person that I can actually go to is my older brother. He's the only one that can put a smile on my face. So can my younger brother. But other then that I have no happy place. My happy place was taken away from my mom. It's been a year now and my depression had gotten worse and worse. I don't know what to do right now. The only way I can control myself from doing anything I might regret is to cry. Cry until all the emotions go away. I sometimes listen to music but it doesn't help a lot. I'm just alone....

  • #2
    I'm so glad you were brave enough to reach out for some support! It sounds like you've been in a lot of pain for a while now, and you deserve to have your feelings understood. It's great to hear that you found a happy place with your therapist, a place where you felt safe enough to be yourself and express your emotions. However, it sounds like your parents might have a misunderstanding about therapy and how it works, which led to them believing you didn't need it anymore. As you may have come to understand, therapy is not a "quick fix". Experiencing changes in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors through therapy takes time, as well as effort on your part. Additionally, it's of the utmost importance for you to have a trusting and understanding relationship with your therapist before any significant change can take place. It seems though your parents might not realize how beneficial therapy was for you. Have you ever tried to express this to your parents? It might also be helpful to speak to your school counselor about what you've been experiencing. Your school counselor can help to support you with your emotions and possibly speak to your parents about why continuing your treatment is necessary. If you are continuing to experience bullying at school, whether it be verbal or physical, it's very important to let an adult know. This can be your parents, a teacher, coach, or any other adult at school that you trust. You have a right to receive an education in a safe environment, and it's necessary for your school administration to provide you with that opportunity. It sounds like you have meaningful supports in your older and younger brother. It may be helpful to make an effort to spend more time with them when you're having difficult feelings. When you're feeling depressed, you may want to isolate, but connecting with others can help improve your mood. Expressing your emotions through crying is a perfectly healthy way to reduce stress. Engaging in a creative hobby such as journaling, writing poetry, drawing/coloring, painting, making collages, playing an instrument etc. are other healthy ways to let your feelings out. It seems that you've been in so much pain recently that you've considered seriously hurting yourself. If you have any thoughts of hurting yourself or ending your life, you can reach out 24/7 to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can also reach out to us 24/7 via call or text at 888-222-2228. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you're in need of any further support! Thank you for contacting 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline!

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