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I honestly don't know where to start this is just a lot for me to process. my mother is extremely judgmental and i do NOT feel safe around her. No matter what I say or do, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Because I'm a girl she always picks on me for playing video games and wearing sweatshirts etc. tiny stuff like that can get to you after a while. I'm constantly bombarded with insults and I'm being guilt tripped for just trying to tell her to stop. She's so homophobic and addicted to gender stereotypes that if my friend who's a girl has short hair comes over, she will question me for days on if she's "safe" or "is normal". Along with this, she has attempted to kick my sister and I out of marching band because one member was a transgender guy. She brought it up at a parent meeting and got mad at his parents because he took his shirt off. (He even HAD top surgery so it's not like anything was showing. [even if he had not had surgery I wouldn't have a problem but you get the point]). She constantly looks over my shoulder and takes my phone. I don't do anything "bad" but now because Of this I have a constant habit of shutting my phone off and it's hard for me to open up to aNYONE. She's so obsessed with the nuclear family that even if a dude is 30, she will try to get my sister and I to say he's attractive, and If we don't, we're in trouble for the rest of the day, or month, or year. A while back she found out I went to my schools GSA (gay straight alliance ) meetings and she pushed me into a counter top. She screamed at me for weeks on how I was insane and I need a psychiatrist for even supporting "those kinds of people". I like girls. I'm g a y. Living in this house is a daily horror because I wonder if she will find out. I have constantly made plans to run away to my friends house, but I don't because I'm too anxious to. I'm too scared to even talk to a girl romantically and doubt I ever will because I have a constant fear of her sneaking up on me. She supports pence and his idea of conversion therapy which sends MY anxiety through the ROOF. If she finds out, she'll probably move to a state where it's legal and convert me.
I don't know what my future is going to be like because she wants to move next to me once I have my own house.... she's so addicted to the idea of family that she doesn't care about the one before her. She sees other girls and compares me to them, and puts me down to the point where I wonder if I'm worth anything.
Going back to what I said before, last year I had a crush on this girl and I tweeted about her once or twice. My mom somehow found my twitter and woke me up in the middle of the night and started screaming. She threatened to kill whoever made me like "this" and bombarded me with insults until I could convince her it was a joke and I was actually making fun of her....
I really don't know where this whole thing is going. I just need some support and advice. I just want to dress how I want, date who I want, and actually hang out with my friends. Thank you!!
I don't know what my future is going to be like because she wants to move next to me once I have my own house.... she's so addicted to the idea of family that she doesn't care about the one before her. She sees other girls and compares me to them, and puts me down to the point where I wonder if I'm worth anything.
Going back to what I said before, last year I had a crush on this girl and I tweeted about her once or twice. My mom somehow found my twitter and woke me up in the middle of the night and started screaming. She threatened to kill whoever made me like "this" and bombarded me with insults until I could convince her it was a joke and I was actually making fun of her....
I really don't know where this whole thing is going. I just need some support and advice. I just want to dress how I want, date who I want, and actually hang out with my friends. Thank you!!
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