Drunken Mistake

[Unregistered]

Hi, I just need to tell someone this.
I was celebrating Thanksgiving with my boyfriend and his family. Everyone there was drinking and was pretty drunk. I don't really remember most of the night, but I think I remember my boyfriends uncle fingering me. I didn't say no and I vaguely knew what was happening. My boyfriend and I are in a really good place. I don't know why I jeopardized that. I want to blame it on the alcohol, but I didn't say no. I don't know what to do. I don't know if the uncle will say anything. It also could've been my boyfriend that did that, but he said nothing sexual happened between us that night and I believe him. I mentioned to my boyfriend that I remember doing something sexual, but I think he just thinks I'm blaming and not beliving him. Should I tell him what I thought happened? I really don't want to lose him at all. Let alone start a ton of drama in his family. What should I do?

Thanks for reading. I know it was a stupid thing not to say no. I really don't want to lose him though and I really do love him very much.

[Unregistered]

Re: Drunken Mistake

Hi, I'm so sorry you had to go through this, and I'm really glad you posted here. First and foremost, please know that it was not your fault. Alcohol impairs judgment and your ability to consent. Your boyfriend's uncle sounds like a real creep, and based on your post, it seems to me that he took advantage of you. You are not required to tell your boyfriend, confront the uncle, or do anything else that makes you uncomfortable. On the flip side, if you feel that one of those things will help you, absolutely go for it. The uncle clearly wasn't thinking about what was best for you when he made a move on you while you were drunk, so please don't feel obligated to protect him from his family or the drama this might cause. Regardless of what you choose to do, what I do suggest is that you talk to a counselor/therapist, your doctor, or an adult you trust who can help you sort through your feelings and figure out how to cope with all of this. Best of luck with everything xo

[2NDFLOOR]

Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR. Regardless of whether or not alcohol was involved it sounds like you had a really traumatic and upsetting experience. You are not stupid in any way for feeling concerned or confused. It's your choice whether or not you want to tell your boyfriend. However, you may want to take a look at some resources such as https://www.rainn.org/get-help on how to more forward, what to do next, exploring how you're feeling, etc. This may help you to come to a decision that you are comfortable with. Whatever you choose we are here to support you through your decision and whatever comes next. If you want to talk more don't hesitate to contact 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 at 888-222-2228.