I'm 22 years old. Life has taken me in many strange directions in and out of college and during the being out I worked full time. And now I do both full time. A few years ago I was with this girl for 4 years. A high school sweet heart kinda thing Into college. She eventually left me for unfair reason I didn't understand at all. I found out she was cheating on my since she got to college and left me for the other guy. It was really hard I moved hours away for school and never really went home as I live by school where work is. I isolated myself but during my time of being single I made so good friends. And through them I met this girl who I had a crush on for a year. Eventually we kinda just bumped into each other and we got together and I feel in love with her and she loved me too. Things hit the fan and I had to work full time instead of school for a year and she was with me through it. And I wouldn't have made it without her. Then one day she stayed the night made plans for the next day and everything. Then she woke up and broke up with me out of no where. And I lost it mentally broke down. I struggled for months finally my mom
Got me into counseling which I have been going to for a few months. It helps me undertand my feelings but I don't really get much guidance from it. It's really hard for me to reach out for help. I'm a 22 year old who pays for school and rent and everything on my own because it's not my moms problem to hurt herself financially for me. I realize the life I live doesn't really allow time for relationships or even friends since I lost them all after I started to work the way I do. Through consoling I had a moment laying on the couch alone in my apartment and realized I can't trust anyone on this earth. So many people fiends family every girlfriend I ever had gets close to me uses me for something then when I need something they leave because I'm so messed up in the head. I saw a physicist she said it was ADD the pills help me focus but I'm sill an anxious depressed wreck. But the fact it I came to realize that it's not worth the small time of happiness to be stabbed in the back and completely broken down. I just can't do it I don't trust a single soul on this earth. (Besides mom). And it's a very tough burden to bear for me. I really don't know how to live with it. It's lonely and I can't deal with it. But I'm too afraid to have a relationship in general. I don't even have Intrest in sex or anything anymore even when I'm approached and it's thrown at me. Idk what to do at all really I just
Wake up drag my feet to work or class and do what I feel I'm responsible for doing. But none of this makes me happy. I'm really just at a loss but idk how I could be like this forever.
Got me into counseling which I have been going to for a few months. It helps me undertand my feelings but I don't really get much guidance from it. It's really hard for me to reach out for help. I'm a 22 year old who pays for school and rent and everything on my own because it's not my moms problem to hurt herself financially for me. I realize the life I live doesn't really allow time for relationships or even friends since I lost them all after I started to work the way I do. Through consoling I had a moment laying on the couch alone in my apartment and realized I can't trust anyone on this earth. So many people fiends family every girlfriend I ever had gets close to me uses me for something then when I need something they leave because I'm so messed up in the head. I saw a physicist she said it was ADD the pills help me focus but I'm sill an anxious depressed wreck. But the fact it I came to realize that it's not worth the small time of happiness to be stabbed in the back and completely broken down. I just can't do it I don't trust a single soul on this earth. (Besides mom). And it's a very tough burden to bear for me. I really don't know how to live with it. It's lonely and I can't deal with it. But I'm too afraid to have a relationship in general. I don't even have Intrest in sex or anything anymore even when I'm approached and it's thrown at me. Idk what to do at all really I just
Wake up drag my feet to work or class and do what I feel I'm responsible for doing. But none of this makes me happy. I'm really just at a loss but idk how I could be like this forever.
Comment