suicide

Im 12 years old and I live in a small town my parents don't know the I'm dating someone and I don't want them to know because he is the one who really stops me from hurting myself or killing myself because I really love him.

[2NDFLOOR]

Please reach out for help immediately. This is very serious. Absolutely nothing is worth losing your life over. Please call or text us here at the 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline. We are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228.

I think that I wanna kill myself, I tried drowning myself twice tonight, and honestly I just can't take it anymore. I cut a heart on my wrist where I was saving room from all the other ones. My parents made me break up with the only person who could have ever prevented me from murdering myself.
Right now?
My life is worthless.

Hey, so recently my parents took away the only person who prevented me from committing suicide, ever since that started I've been cutting myself a few times everyday to relive stress, but sometimes my blades dull and there's nothing I can do and i get angry. I've tried killing myself twice. Both in the bathroom, I tried drowning. I struggle with severe anxiety, depression, and paranoia. And i'm never happy on the inside, I'm always so empty. But no one seems to notice, and that's why I'm writing it here. But it's hard because no one listens to me, mainly because I'm very young
"Oh It's just hormones"
And I'm struggling with an eating disorder, I've been recovering for 3 years, and I've been extremely self-conscious about my body image. My parent's say they want me to be happy, but they took away my only stress reviler. I'm also struggling to come out to my mom about being transgender and pan-sexual. I've had three therapists before, either they didn't do anything, I was afraid to tell them anything, or they were to neglecting. My parents are considering getting me another one; but I already had a stress reliever.. And he never neglected me, he accepted me for who I was and helped me through some major stuff. I did the same with him, heck; we even got together personally. But it seems all my parents want is more stress and anxiety for me. No one ever takes me seriously because I'm only twelve. And no one ever wanted to help me the way he did.

[2NDFLOOR]

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through so much right now and feel like everyone would be better off without you. I agree that you are in a difficult situation, but hurting yourself in any way, including suicide is never an option. I'm not exactly why you are allowed to have a blade in the group home in the first place, so I cannot say that I disagree with your parents in that way. If you're having thoughts of hurting yourself, a blade probably isn't the best thing for you to have in your possession. As far as the staff goes, it's nice that you follow their requests and give them time to settle in when you get home, I'm not sure exactly what you mean by they pester you. Group homes do have rules and employees do need to make sure everyone is following them, which I guess can seem like pestering to the person being told what to do. Maybe you can have a conversation with the staff and let them know what they do that you consider "pestering" and maybe they can explain what they are doing or recognize the behavior and stop doing it. In any case, suicide is not an answer and I'm sure the people that you think would be happy without you would actually be quite miserable without you. If these thoughts continue, let a counselor at your group home know and/or call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-TALK.

[2NDFLOOR]

I am 15 years old. I live in a group home away from my parents. The other day my mom and dad where both coming over for a meeting and I wanted to get a shower. Im on 1-1(staff must be able to see me at all times) so They told me I couldn't shower unless one of the staff was outside the door. I said no thats not happening at first but then I thought about it and realized i NEEDED a shower so i got in. As i got in they told me that I could only be in there for 10 minutes and when the timer went off i had to get out. I got my shower and went downstairs to where my parents where waiting in the office so we could start the meeting. 5 minutes into the meeting my dad said " your on 1-1 and that is your fault, all you have to do is give up the blade you have and you can do things you want to do." i was expecting my mom to back me up but she didn't she just sat there. I excused myself from the meeting and went out into the living room to calm down. After i calmed down i was not planning on going back to the meeting but one of the staff talked me into it. I went back to the meeting and we finished. As my mom left she said something to me, she said " Im going to give you a piece of advice just turn in the blade and you will be ok its simple." I said ok so that there was no problem before she left Everyday staff ask to be left alone when they first walk in the door so that they can get settled in. I follow it and i leave them alone but when i get home they pester me and dont leave me alone even though i tell them that i need a few minutes to settle down as well. I am always getting yelled at an i dont know what to do. Im done with it and i am thinking about ending my life so that i can be free and everyone else can be happy with out me.