Frustrated and Stuck

[Guest]

I'm caught in this spiral with my anxiety... Im scared of approaching people to start friendships and relationships, and its really frustrating. I feel like I almost have a anxiety disorder about it, i mean its not social anxiety, since I took a quiz and Im not scared of social situations, just going up to people, getting their contact info, and trying to date./ be their friend. I don't have panic attacks or anything its just I psyc myself out somehow. lt's like I fundamentally understand that the worst thing that's going to happen is that they will say they are busy or maybe give me a slight side eye, if they aren't interested but that's all. the worst scenario honestly isn't bad at all.
I work on changing my thoughts also, like I tell myself "I can do this, I'm not going to make excuses". I also try thinking positively, and about positive outcomes, and still while I do this 10 percent of the time, 90 percent I give myself some kind of excuse as I feel awkward actually executing this, go back to my dorm and my old friends, (the three people I hang out with) and it never happens. It just winds up passing me by. I don't know how to change it, and then while I see my friends sometimes, I end up spending too much time in isolation, which makes me depressed, which makes school work feel 1000x harder, and therefore its starting to have a mild- moderate effect on my gpa. I also try and take action everyday, and set small goals for myself, its just time passes me by and I remain stuck, with the friends I have, and maybe a new acquaintance or two. I just wish I was able to put a lot more time and effort into approaching people because 10 percent is actually spent talking to people and 90 percent is spent hesitating, being anxious, overthinking it and making excuses.

Its been months and I feel like im missing out on so many opportunities. Should I see a therapist about this, because I cant find one that even specializes in this, and Im a broke college student with no money, and I feel like they will tell me the same thing, "think positively" and wind up wasting a lot of my time and money. Also the therapists at my school aren't very good, and in the past therapists (Ive been to 3), have done far more harm then good, influenced my life decisions (negatively) and havent helped me much...

I even bought a book called, "overcome your fear of talking to people and making friends", and it has only helped me a little...

Am i normal with all this anxiety or is there something wrong with me, and how do I fix myself so I can just approach and befriend people all the time without all this anxiety and hesitation??

I just want to create a life I am happy with,, with friendships and relationships ,and I have such as strong difficultly with doing so and I dont know why??

Like what is even causing this. I also don't even get rejected that often. The few people I have approached have responded semi positively to very positively to me trying to date/ be their friend.

any advice would be great!!

[2NDFLOOR]

Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR about this. It sounds like you are knowledgeable about some tools to help you through this situation (positive thinking, setting small goals, etc) and that the times you do go through with putting yourself out there you get a positive response, which is great! Meeting new people can be nerve-racking, and that is a normal feeling that many people have. Try not to let fear of rejection get in the way of finding new friends and meeting new people, like you said the worst thing that could happen is them not being open to it. If you feel that speaking to a therapist again might help you can certainly do that, and this time you can go in prepared with prior knowledge (what works and what hasn't) and try to come up with other ways to help you with this issue. Another suggestion could be possibly to get involved more with the friends you do have when you are able to, and perhaps they can introduce you to other friends that they may have. If you would like to discuss this further, please reach out to 2NDFLOOR by message board, text or phone. We are available 24/7 @ 888-222-2228. Good luck!

[Guest]

I feel disconnected from myself... really disconnected, no self harming thoughts i feel happy but i have to force the happiness all the time out of me every since the passing of my coach.

[2NDFLOOR]

Dealing with the loss of someone you care about is rough, and it is okay to feel sad about that. Glad to hear that you aren't having thoughts of harming yourself, but do try and talk about your feelings with friends, family, or someone you trust. You can always call or text us here at 2NDFLOOR at 888-222-2228 when you need to talk.